Land of OZ

Support for People Affected by BPD

About Leaving: Making Safe Transitions

Making the decision to leave a relationship with someone who has BPD is often complex and emotionally challenging. This guide will help you understand the process and prepare for a safe transition.

Safety First

If you're in immediate danger, contact emergency services (911) or your local domestic violence hotline immediately.

Before Leaving

Safety Planning

  • Gather important documents
  • Set aside emergency money
  • Prepare a safe place to go
  • Create a support network
  • Document any concerning behavior
  • Keep a journal of incidents

Emotional Preparation

Understanding Your Feelings

  • Process guilt and responsibility
  • Acknowledge your needs
  • Prepare for emotional manipulation
  • Set clear boundaries
  • Build emotional resilience

Common Challenges

Emotional Challenges

  • Guilt and shame
  • Fear of their reaction
  • Worry about their well-being
  • Missing the good times
  • Self-doubt

Practical Challenges

  • Shared finances
  • Living arrangements
  • Mutual friends
  • Shared responsibilities
  • Legal considerations

The Leaving Process

1. Planning Phase

  • Develop a detailed exit strategy
  • Secure important documents and belongings
  • Set up separate financial accounts
  • Arrange new living situation

2. Implementation

  • Choose a safe time to leave
  • Have support people present if needed
  • Be clear but kind in communication
  • Maintain firm boundaries

3. After Leaving

  • Maintain no-contact if possible
  • Seek support and counseling
  • Focus on self-care and healing
  • Be prepared for hoovering attempts

Legal Considerations

  • • Consider restraining orders
  • • Document all interactions
  • • Consult with legal professionals
  • • Understand your rights

Children Involved

  • • Prioritize children's safety
  • • Maintain stability
  • • Seek legal custody advice
  • • Consider counseling for kids

Self-Care

  • • Maintain support network
  • • Practice self-compassion
  • • Focus on healing
  • • Seek professional help

Get Help Now

Emergency Resources

National Crisis Hotline: 1-800-XXX-XXXX

Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-XXX-XXXX

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